January 25th – What is it with pop people in particular? I
mean, we all know of many folk who inhabit what we laughingly refer to as
normal society and yet who lose all and any ability to differentiate between
‘sweet’ and ‘stoopid’ in regard to their children, but with those in the
celebrity limelight it seems to be de rigueur to become brain dead the minute a
child makes an appearance into their lives and a name has to be chosen. Is it a badge or some sort of right of passage they
feel they have to go through in order to claim membership of this Club of
Crassness? A case in point.
I thought that Todd Rungdren’s
child’s name of Rebop was bad enough, but when Grace Slick (of Jefferson
Airplane – ‘White Rabbit’ fame) gave birth to a girl on this day in 1971 and,
together with the father, Paul Kantner (of Jefferson Airplane – ‘Drugs Good/Drugs
Bad’ – Jefferson Starship – ‘We Built this City’, top-ten contender for the most
fatuous pop song ever written fame) decided to call their daughter ‘God’…?
Well… Now, I don’t know about you, but I’d not like to enter the Gladiatorial
arena that is the modern-day children’s playground if I operated under the
moniker of God. Most school playgrounds are the child’s equivalent of that
scene in ‘A Man Called Horse’, where he runs the gauntlet of the club-waving
Sioux in order to become a warrior; trust me, with that as an everyday right of
passage, the last thing a kid needs to be saddled with is the name, God.
Or is it that, with the sort of money
most of them earn, they reckon the school their sprog will go to will be so
selective that the name calling, teasing, bullying and brutality most of us had
to endure, even with a name as everyday as Peter, will not happen to their
little blessing? Or maybe it’s that the name, God, will not stand out amongst
other children from similar backgrounds and who are labouring under the name of
‘Hurricane’ or ‘Burger’ or ‘Fedora’ or ‘Sanity’ (all real names picked by
seemingly devoted ‘sleb’ parents). They may have a point. Anyhow,
you’ll be relieved to know, I’m sure, that the Slick-Kantner partnership
chickened out and renamed their daughter China
and, I guess, she was lucky; they could have kept that theme but re-named her Azerbaijan
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