January 27th – ‘The Thick of It’ have a swearing consultant.
Anyone who’s seen the series can have no doubt that the profanities used by the
characters have reached a certain level of inventiveness and colour that sets
them way beyond swearing. That’s where we’re at now in 2013, but it was only in
1965 that it was suggested that Kenneth Tynan should hang for using the word,
‘fuck’ on British television; should hang! That’s
just 40 years ago! Nowadays you can’t turn a slice of bacon over at breakfast
before you hear that word a dozen times, and it’s the same with films,
comedians, music, books (remember the furore over D.H. Lawrence’s ‘Lady
Chatterley’s Lover’? – published in 1928 but only allowed into the hands of
rain-coated bookworms in 1960 after questions in the House of Parliament and a
ruling by a top judge?)
Was it only after music became more
and more the property of the working classes did the incidence of swearing in
the songs recorded by these working class performers increased exponentially…?
my God, there’s a query to start a debate and probably, at my next book
signing, get me stoned – that’s as in ‘Large pieces of masonry thrown at a
hated person’ rather than ‘A gentle release into a parallel universe brought
about by the inhalation of herbs’, you understand.
All language taboos are gone now, and
I believe I’m right in saying there was a U.S. grunge band called, ‘Anal Cunt’
gigging and recording in the 90’s and releasing some very suspect stuff; those
with greater musical knowledge than me will soon put me right, I’m sure. So,
you’d think that a band considered to be as ‘out there’, as ‘street’ and, ‘as dangerous’
as The Rolling Stones (not from me, you understand; never liked them, never
will…except for the track, ‘Gimme Shelter’, and I prefer ‘Thunder’s’ version of
that) that a band with a social back-catalogue which included ‘break a
butterfly on a wheel’, drug arrests, apocryphal stories of mixing chocolate and
sex (not a true tale but making great copy for years) you’d think when such a
band got the chance to insult a fellow performer the dictionary of profanity
would be rewritten with choice slander and witticism. I mean, not only were
they rock ‘n’ roll but they were also university educated…and they did; they
surpassed themselves. In 1964, on this day they, ’caused a furore in the
British press’ and ‘lost the trust of the BBC’ (shock-horror) when they
appeared on ‘Juke-Box Jury’ (a weekly panel show on BBC 1 where invited
personalities from the entertainment world judged the latest single releases
into the pop world) and called Elvis Presley’s latest single, wait for
it….‘dated’. That’s what caused the furore and lost them trust.
That’s not an insult! It’s just
impolite, middle-class behaviour; lazy, understated mediocrity in the extreme.
So, with that in mind, and to prove there is still a level of creativity and
venom in the judgement of one pop star over another, I offer the following
selection for you to mull over:
1) Who was Boy George talking about?
“A vile, hideous human being with no
redeeming qualities.”
2) Who was Noel Gallagher talking
about?
“He looks like Zorro on doughnuts.”
3) Who was Rick James talking about?
“A little short ego-ed fucker who, I
had a feeling, didn’t like people of his own race and wanted to be white and
taller.”
4) Who was Alan McGee talking about?
“They are the dictionary definition
of corporate rock. The singer is about as weird as Phil Collins. They are
career rock personified. EMI should’ve signed Otis the Aardvark instead. At
least he only sucks his thumb rather than corporate cock.”
5) Who was Paul Weller talking about?
“He said he wanted to bring ballet to
the working classes. What a cunt.”
6) Who was Wayne Coyne talking about?
“I get really tired of their
pompousness. We’ve played some shows with them and they really treat people
like shit. People treat them like they’re the greatest thing ever and they get
away with it… They have good tunes, but they’re pricks, so fuck ‘em.”
I’ll post the answers tomorrow…
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