The Smiths and a Conservative Party Diwali

October 31^st – Happy Diwali!

Why is it there are some bands/groups/solo artists you just don’t ‘get’? The rest of the populace are all going ape over such-and-such or so-and-so and you’re left standing on the sidelines like a sausage at a Bar Mitzvah? But I have to say, in the case of The Smiths, I was glad to be classed as a plastic-wrapped porker.

There’s a band for which the phrase;

A case full of nuthin’

was invented; IMHO. As is usual in these endeavours and not for the first time even with their supposed right-on street credibility, when it came to divvying the cash, Johnny Marr (born this day in 1963) and Mr. Morrissey considered themselves to be band members apart from the drummer and bassist snatching, 40% each of the due royalty payments. This made for the unedifying spectacle of court cases and counter-claims as to who said what to whom ending up with the judge saying of Mr. Morrissey;

Of the band members he is a more complicated character. He did not find giving evidence an easy or happy experience. To me at least he appeared devious, truculent and unreliable where his own interests were at stake. And even Mr. Morrissey’s own counsel saying of him;

…my client’s attitude betrays a degree of arrogance.

This sort of fall-out meant no real chance of a reunion for the band (thank God) and Mr. Morrissey revealed a level of humour outside of his sometime, whimsical song lyrics when he said of reunion rumours;

I would rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths, and that’s saying something for a vegetarian.

I’ve had the pleasure of working a Smith’s gig and what seemed to permeate the whole session from the get-go was a level of blind arrogance that we (the venue) were in the presence of higher beings. What became obvious was that this stain had spread from their lead vocalist and his demands about what food was allowed to be sold both inside and outside the venue and then on through to what the production stage crew could eat, taking in the department heads at the same time, all heaping up to be an anal-experience of the highest order. I don’t think I heard a swell of laughter during the whole, day-long fit-up, gig and strike…not one. That’s what happens so often when a guy with a certain level of talent (and Mr. Morrissey has that, I’ll admit) is given his/her head and all whims and tantrums and misplaced beliefs are catered for by the sycophants who leach their living off’f him/her.

However, what christened it for me was when I heard that David Cameron, when asked what his all-time favourite album was replied;

The Smiths, The Queen is Dead,

Four things occurred simultaneously to me:

1) If The Smiths album, The Queen is Dead is David Cameron’s favourite album then I’m a Crested Celebes Ape.

But

2) If The Smiths album, The Queen is Dead really is David Cameron’s favourite album then that’s the Morrissey/Marr/Conservative Party futures well and truly fucked over.

3) Proof of my suspicions that by combining both David Cameron and The Smiths goes to prove neither of them are worth a light; timely event on this Festival of Light celebration known as Diwali.

4) Even though Mr. Morrissey is no Conservative Party supporter (points to him there) allowing David Cameron an opportunity to seem to be down widda kidz even ever-so briefly is unforgivable and means I'll not be buying any of his works, past, present or future...So, result all round really as I'm sure Mr. Morrissey will be breathing a sigh of relief too.