A cat named dog would've been better....

April 9th – Never saw the film, and considering it was supposed to be seminal piece of 60’s movie-making, I guess I shoulda…but I didna…and have to be honest and say that not seeing the film made me the man I am today.

For starters, I had no desire to don a little black dress and venture fourth into the crowds holding a two-foot long cigarette holder, so there’s two things to be grateful for. In retrospect there are many seminal pieces of work that, on a look-back from here, seem somehow very dated and embarrassing; ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ is one such for me. 

I've since watched it… Its pedigree should really have granted it a better reception than it got at first. Blake Edwards (of ‘Pink Panther’ fame) directed it from a Truman Capote short story; that’s a pretty good starting point, you’d think. Quite what happened after that I’m not sure but it ended up being a totally implausible screenplay story with characters that made as much sense as if one of the actors involved, Mel Blanc (he of ‘Bugs Bunny’ fame) had overdubbed all the dialogue in the voice of Porky Pig…come to think, that would've made me go see it.

As if the screenplay through-line wasn't bad enough, they then filled it with ridiculous cast names; Holly Golightly – Sally Tomato – Rusty Trawler…oh, and a cat named ‘Cat’…as if, using these names alone would have us rolling in the aisles and excuse them from including any further humour in the film; it didn't, they are not excused. So, I watched it; I watched and listened to Hepburn singing, ‘Moon River’, I sat through dialogue that went:

“I'm not going to let anyone put me in a cage. I'm not Holly. I'm not Lula Mae, either. I don't know who I am! I'm like Cat here, a couple of no-name slobs. We belong to nobody and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other”

 and…after sitting through this ridiculous charade of ‘60’s hepness’ (no pun intended) my mood was further depressed when I read up on the background to its production period (I know, I'm like that about stuff...sad old bugger that I am). I found out that, at various times, various individuals (including Hepburn) when the producers threatened to remove the song, ‘Moon River’ from the film, had shouted out;

“Over My Dead Body!!!”

and I actually heard myself thinking, ‘If only…’

On this day in 1962, Henry Mancini won an Academy Award for this song and the only thing that lightened my mood was when I recalled a scene from ‘Fletch’, the Chevy Chase romantic murder mystery. It was that scene when he was having an all-over physical at the docs and he has to lean over the table whilst the doc dons a rubber glove and lubes up for the ‘colonic inspection’?

Chase is talking naturally as the doc moves behind him until, at the point of insertion, Chase sings out in falsetto;
“MOON RIVER…! Phew, Doc, are you using the whole fist in there?” and I thought, ‘Yep, ’bout sums up the whole ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ scenario right there, its just like that.’