I'll never forget what'shisname...

March 15th – It seems to have been the dish of the day for the past, what 15/20 years, and, unlike P. J. Proby, there seems to be no end in sight (is he still touring or has he gone on to that great clothing repair shop in the sky?) Whatever, discard that, he’s not the central theme to what follows. 

You know how I rave on about the misuse of the available theatrical, filmic and musical funds and that, whilst most of provincial theatre struggles through the mire of shit and shortage of cash that covers their particular artistic landscape and threatens to drown them, they have to suffer the ignominy of watching our national artistic institutions (ROH, National Theatre, RSC, Royal Ballet, NFC) stride past them ‘cos they've got gold-plated stilts bought and paid for by the taxpayer? Well, my mood hasn't been helped by the almost continuous cycle of dramatic and filmic remakes doing the rounds. It’s as though they believe this is all the folk out in the sticks will understand (Eastender belt). However, even this level of retreads has been eclipsed by the number of musicals that keep on surfacing; they say; scum always floats to the top. It would seem that anything and everything is ripe for a blast of song and dance, no matter how tenuous the connection to the entertainment business and how un-interesting the subject may be.

Now, I’m aware that one man’s meat is another man’s rissole, so much of what follows is subjective, but I don’t believe I’m the only one who thinks like I do; if I am then I’m in deep doo-doo. 

So, ‘Chess – The Musical’. Whadya reckon? Worthy of the creative dollar? Is it really a story that uncovers the truth about international chess tournaments and the dramatic stuff that takes place on the periphery of great tournaments but didn't know much about (and probably cared less for) or just a bunch of songs tacked on to a thin, already understood, boy meets girl plot, all riding on the back of the ‘Jesus Christ….’ and ‘Joseph…’ bandwagon?

‘The Buddy Holly Story’? An important historical, musical account that documents the life of one of the foremost singer/songwriters of the early rock ‘n’ roll era, or just another way to breathe life into the bloated corpse that is the tribute band?

‘Save the Last Dance for Me’? A light and diverting selection of premier early rock songs balanced lovingly around a pertinent storyline, or the ‘B’ side of an already tried and tired-out format of an already suspiciously formulaic musical (‘Dreamboats and Petticoats’) whose sole purpose is to wring every last vestige of dignity (and pound coins) from out of the devastated remains of its predecessor?

‘Mamma-Mia!’? (their exclamation mark, not mine) A lasting record of the input and effect of one the world’s premier pop groups, or the pension-pot tour for an already over-rich bunch of out-of-date glam-slammers?
‘Evita’?…Oh, fuck this, I’m sick of this already, particularly when I note that Mr. Pellow is touring in it.

All we need now is to be told that a musical about Margaret Thatcher is in production and my day will be complete…and remember, you read it here first!

Whatever your take on them, it would seem nothing is sacred to the manufacturers of these musicals, the makers of these theatrical diversions who know no shame. So, it was with no surprise whatever that I discovered, on this day in 2008, yet another musical opened in Chicago. Let’s see if, from the following clues, you can guess the name of the person the musical was based around, and be honest… Don’t look lower down the page, just think of this as a poor-mans HIGNFY ‘guest publication’ slot… If you don’t know by the end of what follows then there’s no shame in it; I certainly didn't. If you do know, just mark at what point in the following information you got it…and weep.

1) The musical’s central person in question was openly referred to in the musical press as, ‘The Black Elvis’.

2) The musical was called, ‘I Am Who I Am’.

3) The musical’s central person in question purchased a huge house, which was very similar to Graceland, in his home town of Philadelphia.

4) This musical’s central person was a member of the band ‘Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes’.

5) This musical’s central person was partially paralysed when the Rolls Royce he was travelling in skidded off the road and crashed.

No? Yes?

OK, his name was… Teddy Pendergrass……?………?………?

Now, I have to be honest and say that I’d heard the name, back in the day, but, as for the rest of the information? Not a sausage – nada – zilch – niet – nein. There’s a lot written about him once you start to look, but you'd have to be sufficiently interested in the soul scene and the troubled life of Mr. Pendergrass to find the possibility of a musical being written about him sufficiently interesting enough to stir your loins, wouldn't you? The guy certainly had difficulties in his life and the prospect of someone, anyone who has a lot of life left in them suddenly being left partially paralysed is too awful to contemplate…some of our armed forces members for instance...? Is there a musical opportunity going there? "Sands of Time" possibly, or "Iraq and Back"…and it may be more poignant when such a thing happens to someone who was, seemingly, a great talent. He was also feted for his ability to cross over the black/white entertainment divide in the U. S. with his music but I have to admit it missed me, and I suspect multi-millions of others interested in music, completely. So, to recap: as far as his career and events go;

Articles in the musical papers? Check.

Biographies in selected glossies? Check.

Topical musical interludes in ads and films? Check.

A full-blown musical? Erm…

Those of us not in the inner circle have to assume that the production of this musical about Mr. Pendergrass, ‘I am Who I am’, was yet another pension-pot show for the artist, his manager and his agent, which I’m sure is doing Mr. Pendergrass a great disservice, but then, so is this continuous belief by the producing legions of theatre-money-men that the theatre-going public has an insatiable appetite for third-hand remakes of second-hand back-catalogues by entertainers of vaguely remembered star-quality all hung onto the skeletal frame of a supposed story worth telling. Did I think that or say it out loud…? Whatever…

Answer to yesterday’s quiz: - The single, ‘Leader of the Pack’ had the sound of a revving motorcycle on it. What make was the motorcycle?
A Harley Davison –of course!