Do they even have to turn up at all?

March 12th – I figure I must be one of the many few who walks in fear of the inevitable outcome of rock music as we all, by either passive refusal or active participation, contribute to the appalling phenomenon that is ‘the talent show’ (parental advisory notice on the word ‘talent’) that is ‘The X Factory…sorry Factor’ or ‘American Idle…sorry Idol’. That so much air-time should be devoted to what is, in fact, a recycling plant is beyond me but I guess that art is art to those who see it for such, so…
I think that’s one of the things that wind me up me most in the worlds of music and theatre today; the rise and rise of tribute bands and the ever expanding franchise productions that haunt every movie house and theatre in the country… I've done this, sorry…just that it doesn't get any better as time goes on, y’ know?

I think that you also already know (says he, in the mistaken belief that you've actually read more than one of these drivelling notes of mine and, if so and more startlingly, can actually remember doing so) that I’m not a Beatles aficionado. What I haven’t explained properly is why…and I’m not about to here (treble sighs all round) because, well, I can’t be arsed really; that’s it; that’s how much they mean to me (and probably how much I mean to them, so fair all round, I say). 

What did strike a chord was that, on this day in 2008, ‘American Idol’, that haven of originality in the music industry, ran an all-Beatles episode after somehow securing the rights to the songs. Now, I thought Michael Jackson owned the rights…? Didn't he buy up the Beatles back catalogue? So, here was a golden opportunity to deconstruct this monolith to bland, to plead for and gain redemption, to realise the spread and iniquity of the monster they'd created and wipe off the face of the earth this collective of smug un-originality and, furthermore, an opportunity for this television programme, a television programme that seeks to take all musical output, put it into the mouths of fourteen year-old kids or eighty year-old grannies and reduce it to the artistic consistency of pink nougat, to significantly reduce the PRS nest-egg of a performer/s who had all the money anyone could ever want and still thought that living in a children’s castle was cool as well as put a halt the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation of the already over-bloated carcass that belonged to four mop-headed pseudo-arses: in short to have the courage to say; ‘Fuck them. Let’s do something original for change’. Did they grasp the nettle? DTF.

Enough.

Answers to yesterday’s quiz.

1) Geraldine Farrar – Born 1882/Died 1967 on this day. She was American opera singer and also a film actress. She was noted, apparently, for her beauty and acting ability. You may not know her but she had a massive following among young women at the height of her fame who were nicknamed, ‘Gerry-flappers’. So there…

2) Stacey Guess – Died 1998 on this day. Trumpet player in (see below)

3) The Squirrel Nut Zippers. Blues/jazz fusion band formed in the U.S. in 1993. 9 albums and a hit single (apparently) called ‘Hell’. Apposite title considering that’s what they must have been living in as they saw all their work go for nowt. Even more tragic is that Stacey Guess died (I believe heroin was involved; will they never learn) about a year before the band reached the dizzy heights of their first step onto the ladder of fame from whence they climbed no more.

4) Edmund Sylvers – Died 2004 on this day. Member of the R&B/Soul band called, originally enough, ‘The Sylvers’, an unsurprising name selection when you consider the band was made up of ten (yes, 10) brothers and sisters named? Yup. The Sylvers. 5 albums and 22 singles. Nope,  me neither.