Now, stop doing that and come out...

February 3rd – Now it may be that the two following events are totally unconnected from a purely competitive viewpoint, so humour an old man and remember, you know what they say about royalty, monarch related or not: “Hell hath no fury like a queen scorned.”

Fade In On: 

1975/6, Elton John (probably tearful) announces his retirement from the live and touring stage and, one assumes, decides to rest on his laurels (and there were enough of them, believe me) and maybe just work on the studio stuff? 

Cut To:

David Bowie 1976. Doing the first night of his U.S. tour on this day having shrugged off the persona of ‘Ziggy Stardust’ (ZS) and donned the mantle of ‘The Thin White Duke’ (TWD)… saw the ZS show at Birmingham Town Hall in, what, 1971/2…can’t remember (my usual mantra). what I do remember is a stand-out moment when he stood d/s/c in a Nepalese/Burmese/Japanese-type costume (think it was probably Japanese ‘cos he was going through his ‘Kabuki period’ at the time) anyway, it was multi-coloured with big shoulder pads, pointed, I think, and Bowie, legs astride, arms outstretched, d/s/c as two guys, one from each side of the stage, come on, grab the shoulder pads and waistband and snatch the cossie apart to reveal Bowie in a brilliant white silk, hipped top and pleated short skirt and top with, I think, white tights…and then the glitter ball kicked in and he broke into ‘Starman’…marvellous moment, pure theatre…oh, Jesus, I’m off again…sorry. Right, TWD.

Well we know that Bowie is, according to his own hype, a chameleon, changing his persona and, it would seem his sexuality, at the drop of a chord. I seem to remember, some good while ago, him stating that he was, “definitely homosexual; I've always known this…” and the banned or at least frowned upon front cover of his ‘Man Who Sold the World’ album (in the U.S. it was a cause of deep shock-horror in the deep south….now there’s a surprise) with him lounging on a chaise in a dress and looking decidedly, gorgeously feminine, seemed to bear out his sexual preference. 

OK, fine. So, the marriage to Angie then, David…? Just a mistake then; easy to make, fine. Could have been just more hype, but, let it pass. So fairly safe to say that you are bi-sexual, David, and that’s also fine. Right, cleared that up, no big deal, nothing to brag about, you’re just one of the ‘undecided’; fine. 

So, ZS killed off and with the androgynous field to yourself, you embark on another tour as the TWD that runs right through to '77'…but wait a moment, what’s this I see in the rear-view mirror? Why, it’s Elton John…

Cut To:

Freeze-frame of Elton John. Famous singer-songwriter and homosexual champion…so the two times married then, Elton? Just a mistake then; easy to make, fine. So fairly safe to say that you are bi-sexual, as you mentioned in ‘76’ and that’s also fine. Right, cleared that up, no big deal, nothing to brag about, you’re just one of the ‘undecided’; fine.
Cut To:

Sweden 1977. Elton is out…(of retirement only at this point in his career as he had only owned up to bisexuality in ‘76’ and he was yet to marry for a second time – ‘84’ – a woman – then pair up with David Furnish…I think…gets confusing, don’t it?) Anyway, it's 1977 and Elton is out on stage and performing…and after all that fuss about your retirement and such just a year ago…

OK, you can see where this is going, can’t you? Did Elton John come out of retirement because he was jealous of Bowie and his re-invention? I mean, it couldn't have been about the money, surely. It’s just that, with Mr. Bowie having said about Mr. John: 

“Elton John is the Liberace of rock, the token queen.” 

And Mr. John saying of Mr. Bowie: 

“It was a joke, him calling me the token queen after he’d told Angie that he’d always dreamed of being Judy Garland.” 

Well, let’s just say it seems there wasn't a lot of love left in the venom-bucket for either of them. 

And the once-married-twice-married thing? Was this all part of the competition? No. OK. Just a thought.

Oh, and as an aside, born on this day in 1947…what happened to Melanie, anybody?