Slapstick for a bathtub

December 24^th –

ASTON offers the bag to DAVIES.

MICK grabs it.
ASTON takes it.
MICK grabs it.
DAVIES reaches for it.
ASTON takes it.
MICK reaches for it.
ASTON gives it to DAVIES.

MICK grabs it. Pause. 

Anybody? Name of the play? OK then, writer? The last word should give you the best clue.

Mick and Montmorency were a music-hall TV double-act of the ‘50’s’ who specialised in what we know as slapstick comedy. The usual vehicle for their humour was what we’d call slosh items, a decorating scene with paste brushes, ladders, buckets of paste and planks of wood or a window-washing sequence with wet cloths, buckets of water and ladders, moisture in its various forms being a common denominator where misunderstandings and plain stupidity reigned supreme.

It ran as part of the children’s television of my youth and I can still recall certain episodes and routines that gave me my sense of humour that I still retain today; that of the sight-gag. And oftentimes it isn’t the huge gesture that gets me, it’s the little looks and facial realisations that hold as much humour as the foot-in-bucket – when I nod my head, you hit it kind of thing. It’s that reading between the lines/dramatic set-pieces thing that I enjoy and still informs some of my writing today…not that you’d notice it.

When Bobby Darin was challenged by DJ, Murray The K that he couldn’t write a song that opened with the words, Splish-Splash, a challenge he accepted Mr. Darin produced a single that has had an enduring legacy since it was penned in 1958. You and I may well class it as a novelty song but I’ll have you know it’s attracted some of the finest in the trade, take Bobby Kimball (Toto lead singer) and Bill Champlin (Chicago keyboard player). Acting as the support musicians for a cover of Splish-Splash, who would you put with them to do lead vox? Why, Barbara Streisand of course. I know, I know, I couldn’t quite get a fix on it either.

The UK version was recorded by the character known as Montmorency. It made the top ten in 1958 (there wasn’t much else about at that early time in rock’s history so…) and was another step along the road to fame for Charlie Drake who died on this day in 2006.

18 singles followed, the vast majority also novelty records, and his comedic flair made him a natural choice for the part of a fool in any serious theatrical productions of the Shakespearian kind, as is always the way. Find a comedian with a bit of acting ability and stick him in A Midsummer Night’s Dream or King Lear, or Twelfth Night. They do it all the time with varying degrees of success. It’s kind of an upmarket version of shoehorning a soap star into a panto; there to put bums on seats. Having taken a Montreux Festival award in 1968 with a piece that featured him in every musician’s role in an orchestra (including the conductor) whilst a piece of classical music was played and gradually slapsticked the players, Mr. Drake was a prime candidate for the token popular entertainer in any serious drama all done to prove that the RSC and the ROH weren’t at all elitist…yeah, right…

Thing is, Mr. Drake was good enough not only for these roles but also for taking the lead in Harold Pinter’s, The Caretaker, the play from which those opening lines above come from…which, of course, you all knew. Playing at the Royal Exchange Theatre in Manchester, he picked up an award for his playing of Aston the character whose Electro Shock Therapy treatment sessions have left him brain damaged and who now has no greater desire in life but to build a shed…Pinter remember. Having made such headway it was a downward turn when he teamed up with Jim Davidson (you can probably tell I’m not a fan) to star in the adult pantomime SINderella, playing the part of Baron Hard-On (gosh, typical Davidson subtlety, find some smut then beat people over the head with it).

That aside, I have fond memories of Mr. Drake’s early work and I do believe my ability to laugh at some of my actions as I grow older are, in a large part, due to my sharing rooms with him and all filled with ladders which had a bucket of paste balanced precariously on top of each of them. I’d also like to think that his headstone has, Goodbye, My Darlings chiselled on it…

SEVENTH DESERT ISLAND DISC – Not in any particular order and as at 15/10/13

7) Just Because – Jane’s Addiction – From the album Strays – Recorded 2003 – Lead Vocal & Programming/Perry Farrell – Guitars & Piano/Dave Navarro – Drums & Percussion/Stephen Perkins – Bass Guitar/Chris Chaney

Some of the best fuck you, sleb lyrics set to a drive ‘em all over the cliff musical backdrop and played a bunch of poseurs.

Not a lover of the personal (anyone who drinks wine straight from the bottle to impress an audience is, imho, an arse) but hat’s off for the track.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UqHxQ8-Zxo