Gay? No, just happy...

June 17^th – Salacious gossip is what sells newspapers; there’s a revelation that you’d not considered, isn’t it? And they’re iniquitous too. You don’t think? OK, let’s see how many slebs you can figure out from the following, slightly doctored clues:

1. Surprise September wedding at Boone Hall Plantation in South Carolina for Gossip Girl and her Two Guys

2. Match the baby to the mum – Blue Ivy with ? Noah with ? Olive with ?

3. Everything is suddenly klum as bodyguard seals breakup

4. Dottie P takes on The Klan

5. 10 carrots for Friend’s engagement

6. Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Florence Thurman-Busson makes debut

7. Right leg, right photo op

8. Smells like further Fame for a Lady

9. Thrown out of Paradis by a pirate

10. Snow White snogging session ends partnership

Now, you may have never read the stories that go with the above (I’d like to think you’re above such mundane stuff) may not even have seen the headline…and yet still, somehow, you know the personalities involved or the stories written. Innocuous innit, and just like an argument on Eastenders; if you’ve just missed one, stay online for a further few minutes ‘cos there’ll be another along shortly; there you are, a sting perpetrated by your Super-Soaraway Sun on Tilusa Constovstavius maybe? Perfect timing. Don’t want to discuss the events ‘cos I couldn’t care less, what I was intrigued by was the suggested aftermath of the case. Namely that our Super-Soaraway Shit has passed the dossier (that’s the word they use to try and give their gutter-sniffing a feeling of authenticity, of legitimacy) passed the dossier over to the cops who have arrested Tilusa and charged her. When the case came to court there is a question mark over the outcome due to the nature of how the press have operated in this particular case. What transpires is that, and I quote her ‘spokesman’ directly;

“Tilusa is unable to comment whilst the police investigation was on-going. She intends to tell (I read it as ‘sell’ – Freudian slip there) she intends to tell her side of the story, if she is cleared.”

Nothing to add to that statement, it’’s all there. You can work out the dirty details for yourself and my guess is you’ll shake your head at the pithy, schoolkiddie, childish….shite that’s going on here, all in the name of prurient entertainment for the masses: we should all be ashamed of ourselves because, when it comes down to it they do it in our name because we continue to buy this particular drug they peddle.

Walter Busterkeys anyone? The new film about him discloses what we all knew from the get-go. The only folk who didn’t know he was gay were those amoebas living in the southern swamps of the planet Tharg. Now, when the Daily Mirror printed this revelation, Buster threw a hissy fit, screamed that he wasn’t gay, sued them…and won! I believe he said

“I cried all the way to the bank”.

So, now we know he was as gay as a yellow duster (and a spiteful, manipulative little shit into the bargain) does the Daily Mirror get a refund? Bit late, I know, seeing as how Liberace is a long time gone but still…fair play…