Balaclava Bollocks

June 1st – Most people heed the warnings, don’t they? I mean, if you’re prone to over-imbibing then the logical amongst us would say to themselves;

“Best not drive, I guess, not when I'm seeing three steering wheels.” 
This is my usual rational. It’s not that I might crash and injure (or worse) myself that’s the main deterrent for me, it’s the awful possibility that I might crash into and injure (or worse) someone else; someone who’s heeded the warnings and is just going home to their family after a long, hard day. Like I say, the logical amongst us would heed the warnings. But, if you’re a rock star, then, it seems, normal rules do not apply.

Anybody else here rate Slipknot? Cards on table, I've always considered them to be formulaic and sensationalist, tapping into the turbulent maelstrom that is yoof but avoiding the responsibility of their actions. Using iconic horror imagery and well-tried headline grabbers, their use of masks (‘Man in the Iron…’ – ice-hockey goalkeepers – ‘Texas Chainsaw….’ and him…that bloke who had liver and Chianti…whatsis name…him. Jody Foster played opposite...?) Anyway, these tried and tested uniforms were easy, off-the-shelf gimmicks with which to gather together a ready-made following. Kiss had done it with make-up, Alice Cooper had done it with make-up and snakes, Black Sabbath had done it just with Ozzy and bats… So, I felt what Slipknot were doing was just another extension of the genre, and nothing happens by magic in the rock world.

The band’s members suggest the reason for the masks is to hide their identity (another good marketing ploy) and allow them to inhabit their music…? This would suggest they’re a shy bunch of lads but that’s a hard place to defend when you wear something that’s designed to attract attention. Whatever. Behind their self-generated image of nihilistic producers of music (described by them as metal metal; there’s original, they must have agonised over that for, oh, I don't know...seconds) is a slick marketing campaign aimed at maximum publicity and maximum controversy…they do say the only bad notice is one in an obituary column.

Funny you should mention that.

When the Slipknot bassist, Paul Gray, slammed his car into another on this day in 2003, one would have thought that being caught drink-driving would be sufficient, but no, we are in the kingdom of popdom remember He compounded the felony by being arrested for possession of marijuana, coke and ‘other drug paraphernalia’…as well as drunk driving. Now, you’d have thought that the alarm bells would start sounding wouldn't you; that the culprit and those around him, his friends, would’ve understood/stated the obvious, plainly laid the ground out? Well, not plainly enough. Seven years passed and Mr. Gray succumbed to a drug overdose of morphine and fentanyl. Nothing could mask that fact…but Slipknot, masks and all, have soldiered on. 

I’ve just thought; if they all wore badly made balaclavas they could call themselves ‘Slopknit’.