Now there’s a revelation; that those people from better off families and schools stand a greater chance of getting a job in the upper echelons of employment (banker, lawyer, doctor, etc) and thereby better pay and conditions because of ‘who’ and not ‘what’ they know! Well, bugger me! Who’d’ve thought it, eh? This has been reported as a lead article on the national radio and press bulletins on 21st/22nd July (OK, OK, I'm late; so sue me) and I’m left wondering, “Where the hell have you lot been for the last millennia?” I knew this, and I’ll bet a pound-to-pinch-of-cow-poo that you did to, so how come those folk who are supposed to be on the cutting edge of social comment think this is news? Any village idiot, discharged because they broke the regulation brain-cell quota of one by fifty percent could have told them that this is how the world works, has done, indeed, since Humgph-the-Thug, that well known Cro-Magnon cheerleader who, from the doorstep of his rain-soaked, shit-stained cave, championed the demand for what passed as civic amenities in those days to include larger clubs for anyone whose name began with a grunt, but a cessation of the supply of these said ‘persuaders’ to anyone outside of his own family unit.
For those who need further help in deciphering this seemingly revelatory statement, let’s try and spell it out with a series of statements and a few non-rhetorical questions, shall we?
1) Education: - The reason there is a two-tier education system in this country is so that the “gentleman’s club” ethos that so pervades much of our upper class adult groupings can be instilled at an early age. It allows the children (whether they are gifted or as thick as a Norman fort wall) of the upper classes to mix with those of a similar background. It is here that friendships are forged (some being forged with more questionable methods than others) so that when, in later years, these young gentlemen seek gainful employment, they will be able to go to those who were “in the class of 69” and, through their reminiscences, rekindle the ties that bind all the members of the ruling class (i.e. ‘them’….). This education system lays the foundations for the “right sort” to be included in the right ranks and continuation of the status quo by the right sort of people.
1a) The reason there is no official inspection of public schools (there’s a misnomer if ever there was one; the first example of successful spin right there, my friend) I repeat, the reason there is no official inspection of public schools is because they are beyond and above the laws laid down for the proletariat. Whoever could even consider a less than perfect education being doled out by an establishment whose pupils had been drawn from the highest in the land; only a fool, and there are no fools in the upper societal echelons, are there? How dare anyone even suggest they should be inspected? These are your betters being educated here, and they know that a degree in classics is the ideal preparation for a lifetime in government in charge of the Work and Pensions Department or the Department for the Environment. Knowing that Gaia and Uranos “got it together” to give us Zeus, Poseidon, Hades and all those other gods is an excellent grounding for being able to decide what is a liveable income for ‘the workers’…..and when you are expected to survive on the parlous wage of £45k p.a., well, one has an ideal understanding of what deprivation is, hm?
1b) The disparity between the holiday dates of public schools and the comprehensive scholars wasn’t decided on a whim. It was a deliberate choice so that the children of the chosen wouldn’t have to rub cheeks with the filthy, ragamuffin urchins spawned by the workers. It was so the beaches remained clear of crowds and the seas remained pristine and grubby-knee free. At no time has this become more important than today, when the proletariat have got a little more wealthy (due, no doubt, to them having larger families so they could either sell their offspring or send them out into prostitution). Now the ski-slopes of Canada and the Alps, the beaches of Bora-Bora and the Seychelles are within their reach, heaven forbid, and so the holiday discrepancy is even more important.
1c) Why... (you will have noticed that there are no other numbers but 1 being listed here….I think we know why?) why is there a different, strict dress code for all the many and various get-togethers our ruling elite? Could it be because this is they way they can sort the sheep from the goats, “at a glance”? I mean, how many of you reading this column (?!?!?!?!) own morning dress, white-tie or black-tie? And make no mistake, they can tell “hired” from “owned” at fifty paces, trust me, I know. There’s something in the way a gentleman wears his Gestapo outfit that just shines through, something in their swagger that sets him or her apart from the common herd, and declares “Yes, this is mine. I own it.....and you…..”
1d) Just as street language marks out, in their eyes, the fallen amongst us, so the clipped tones, elongated vowels and chinless guffaw marks out the risen amongst us. Just as street knowledge marks out for the majority of the coal-in-the-bath population, they believe, the easiest car to nick and the easiest mark to hit, so they know instinctively how many glasses of champagne one gets out of a jeroboam and which trader is as bent as them and so will feed them the information they need in order to make a killing on the stocks.
The subtle difference between these seemingly reflective lifestyles, where each is geared up to cope with its own circumstance, is that those of the street-class have it instilled into them from birth that the foundation of second-rate education they enjoy is provided by Ronald McDonald or Cadbury Schweppes or Coca-Cola and is built on the whim of their rulers; and the ruling class have it instilled into them from birth that this is their right. That they can demand sacrifice from all but themselves and that they have the power, through their close-knit and expensive education and their ‘friendship portfolio’, to be able to make, break and preside over the rules that govern us all.
My son repeated to me a line from “Boyz in the ‘Hood”, a film I’ve not yet seen due to the fact that I’ve a list of about five hundred that I know I ought to see, but most of which I know I’ll never get round to because, a) I have to earn a living for most of the hours of the day, b) that I’m 62….or is it 61….?....anyhow, it’s my birthday today and I’m a year older than yesterday and so am even more aware that I have a rapidly diminishing time-span here on this planet, and that c) I’m trying to get the next novel written (and I trust you've all bought your copy of Ladies of the Shire ? If not, why not and see me, 09.00, in my office with a full and detailed, written explanation, and where I'll repeat the website address to you until you fall over with fatigue www.peter-webb.com ) so, I'm trying to get the next novel, The Quarry, written and other things apart from movie-watching are distracting me as it is. Anyhow, for those who’ve seen it (and I guess I’ll get a flood of replies telling me I’ve misquoted it…..) the father says to the two sons,
“Why is there a gun store on the corner of every street in Detroit and not a hospital? I tell you why, because they want us to kill each other.”
Sort of shrinks all that hogwash I’ve written above into a succinct one liner, but I’d just like to say that…well, I agree….. Night X!
