Education, Education, Education.....

Now there’s a revelation; that those people from better off families and schools stand a greater chance of getting a job in the upper echelons of employment (banker, lawyer, doctor, etc) and thereby better pay and conditions because of ‘who’ and not ‘what’ they know! Well, bugger me! Who’d’ve thought it, eh? This has been reported as a lead article on the national radio and press bulletins on 21st/22nd July (OK, OK, I'm late; so sue me) and I’m left wondering, “Where the hell have you lot been for the last millennia?” I knew this, and I’ll bet a pound-to-pinch-of-cow-poo that you did to, so how come those folk who are supposed to be on the cutting edge of social comment think this is news? Any village idiot, discharged because they broke the regulation brain-cell quota of one by fifty percent could have told them that this is how the world works, has done, indeed, since Humgph-the-Thug, that well known Cro-Magnon cheerleader who, from the doorstep of his rain-soaked, shit-stained cave, championed the demand for what passed as civic amenities in those days to include larger clubs for anyone whose name began with a grunt, but a cessation of the supply of these said ‘persuaders’ to anyone outside of his own family unit.
For those who need further help in deciphering this seemingly revelatory statement, let’s try and spell it out with a series of statements and a few non-rhetorical questions, shall we?

1) Education: - The reason there is a two-tier education system in this country is so that the “gentleman’s club” ethos that so pervades much of our upper class adult groupings can be instilled at an early age. It allows the children (whether they are gifted or as thick as a Norman fort wall) of the upper classes to mix with those of a similar background. It is here that friendships are forged (some being forged with more questionable methods than others) so that when, in later years, these young gentlemen seek gainful employment, they will be able to go to those who were “in the class of 69” and, through their reminiscences, rekindle the ties that bind all the members of the ruling class (i.e. ‘them’….). This education system lays the foundations for the “right sort” to be included in the right ranks and continuation of the status quo by the right sort of people.

1a) The reason there is no official inspection of public schools (there’s a misnomer if ever there was one; the first example of successful spin right there, my friend) I repeat, the reason there is no official inspection of public schools is because they are beyond and above the laws laid down for the proletariat. Whoever could even consider a less than perfect education being doled out by an establishment whose pupils had been drawn from the highest in the land; only a fool, and there are no fools in the upper societal echelons, are there? How dare anyone even suggest they should be inspected? These are your betters being educated here, and they know that a degree in classics is the ideal preparation for a lifetime in government in charge of the Work and Pensions Department or the Department for the Environment. Knowing that Gaia and Uranos “got it together” to give us Zeus, Poseidon, Hades and all those other gods is an excellent grounding for being able to decide what is a liveable income for ‘the workers’…..and when you are expected to survive on the parlous wage of £45k p.a., well, one has an ideal understanding of what deprivation is, hm?

1b) The disparity between the holiday dates of public schools and the comprehensive scholars wasn’t decided on a whim. It was a deliberate choice so that the children of the chosen wouldn’t have to rub cheeks with the filthy, ragamuffin urchins spawned by the workers. It was so the beaches remained clear of crowds and the seas remained pristine and grubby-knee free. At no time has this become more important than today, when the proletariat have got a little more wealthy (due, no doubt, to them having larger families so they could either sell their offspring or send them out into prostitution). Now the ski-slopes of Canada and the Alps, the beaches of Bora-Bora and the Seychelles are within their reach, heaven forbid, and so the holiday discrepancy is even more important.

1c) Why... (you will have noticed that there are no other numbers but 1 being listed here….I think we know why?) why is there a different, strict dress code for all the many and various get-togethers our ruling elite? Could it be because this is they way they can sort the sheep from the goats, “at a glance”? I mean, how many of you reading this column (?!?!?!?!) own morning dress, white-tie or black-tie? And make no mistake, they can tell “hired” from “owned” at fifty paces, trust me, I know. There’s something in the way a gentleman wears his Gestapo outfit that just shines through, something in their swagger that sets him or her apart from the common herd, and declares “Yes, this is mine. I own it.....and you…..”

1d) Just as street language marks out, in their eyes, the fallen amongst us, so the clipped tones, elongated vowels and chinless guffaw marks out the risen amongst us. Just as street knowledge marks out for the majority of the coal-in-the-bath population, they believe, the easiest car to nick and the easiest mark to hit, so they know instinctively how many glasses of champagne one gets out of a jeroboam and which trader is as bent as them and so will feed them the information they need in order to make a killing on the stocks.

The subtle difference between these seemingly reflective lifestyles, where each is geared up to cope with its own circumstance, is that those of the street-class have it instilled into them from birth that the foundation of second-rate education they enjoy is provided by Ronald McDonald or Cadbury Schweppes or Coca-Cola and is built on the whim of their rulers; and the ruling class have it instilled into them from birth that this is their right. That they can demand sacrifice from all but themselves and that they have the power, through their close-knit and expensive education and their ‘friendship portfolio’, to be able to make, break and preside over the rules that govern us all.

My son repeated to me a line from “Boyz in the ‘Hood”, a film I’ve not yet seen due to the fact that I’ve a list of about five hundred that I know I ought to see, but most of which I know I’ll never get round to because, a) I have to earn a living for most of the hours of the day, b) that I’m 62….or is it 61….?....anyhow, it’s my birthday today and I’m a year older than yesterday and so am even more aware that I have a rapidly diminishing time-span here on this planet, and that c) I’m trying to get the next novel written (and I trust you've all bought your copy of Ladies of the Shire ? If not, why not and see me, 09.00, in my office with a full and detailed, written explanation, and where I'll repeat the website address to you until you fall over with fatigue www.peter-webb.com ) so, I'm trying to get the next novel, The Quarry, written and other things apart from movie-watching are distracting me as it is. Anyhow, for those who’ve seen it (and I guess I’ll get a flood of replies telling me I’ve misquoted it…..) the father says to the two sons,
“Why is there a gun store on the corner of every street in Detroit and not a hospital? I tell you why, because they want us to kill each other.”
Sort of shrinks all that hogwash I’ve written above into a succinct one liner, but I’d just like to say that…well, I agree….. Night X!

Russian Saying - "Where there's a trough there'll be swine"

Well then, here we are then…!...bet you all thought I’d left the country; no? Oh well, I’ve not. I’ve been very busy finishing off that novel I always promised I’d write…….no, honest, I mean I have been writing that novel I always promised to write. It’s called Ladies of the Shire and will available from selected WH Smiths, Waterstone’s, local libraries (for the cheapskates amongst you) and from Amazon, but I’d much rather you purchased it through the website www.peter-webb.com as the profit margin for me is far greater that way! Never one to be backward in coming forward, me. So, you’ll be asking yourselves, what is it that’s dragged this sofa-slopping whinge-box off’f his arse and back into print? Well, bit obvious really. Anyone who’s not been living inside the lower intestine of a whale will be well aware of the tsunami that’s hit our beloved politicians in the good ’ole U of K and, because there’s been a surfeit of bile, invective and vitriol launched their way in the past two weeks, I’d like to offer another angle from which to view the recent events….as if anyone’s interested, Peter.
What’s in store for us is far more than just the resignations of a few dubious spivs in power and I’d like to open up the discussion (Discussion? This is just you spouting off, Peter, with no room for reply….Yes, you’re right; so, sue me or use the reply button) by advancing a belief that I’m sure you all had worked out many days ago. My excuse is that we’ve had a lot on at the theatre where I work recently. We had our hands full with a large in/out of a national drama production (so a gang of thesps doing their best to convince us they really are “so terribly tired doing two shows a day” and how hard they work in their chosen profession…oh yeah? Like, in relation to what? Diamond miners in Africa….swift-nest gatherers in China….rice planters in Vietnam….? Tell me about it, I’m really interested, y’ know?….) then a collaborative opera show with a cast of 200 (so a gaggle of opera singers rushing out of the rehearsal room in a flurry of crinolines and talcum powder ‘Because I can’t possibly concentrate on this VERY demanding role whilst I think I can hear the hum from a fridge two blocks away’…. It’s only thing that’s in tune, pal, trust me) and then, joy-of-joys, ballet (a throng of twirlies wanting the stage to rehearse on 24/7…Have y’ not learnt it yet then?...and every theatre space heated to 500 degrees) so I had enough to occupy my mind (it's a very small one, you understand, so it doesn't take much).
So, back to these thieving rich-folk. We’re all aware that they’ve been on the make (we now have it confirmed) for years, and it’s a given that those who’ve been caught with their hands in the cookie-jar have a level of moral fibre and social conscience that would be put to shame by Cro-Magnon man. We’ve listened to their excuses (there’s not a single one of them that, as far as they’re concerned, has done ANYTHING wrong; like every inmate in every prison in the world - including Shawshanks - they’re all innocent). Now we get the reasons; “I’m doing this to spare my family from the media intrusion.” or “I’m doing this to spend more time with my family”. Trust me, they can see the bullet coming and they want to be able to say to their respective, forthcoming employers (and there’ll be lots, trust me) that they weren’t sacked, they retired with good grace. For these politicians to say these things only makes them look more ridiculous in the eyes of the public, to rob the finances because you’re a dim-wit is one thing, but these are the folk who’re supposed to be intelligent, cutting edge, shaping our world, looking after our interests etc…..Christ, you’ve all heard it so many times before….. So, cut to the chase.
We know that to become a politician opens up all sorts of doors to the undeserving. Do you know the very first thing Duff-Cooper’s best friend said to him when he (Duff-Cooper) told him he was going to become a politician? Was it, 1) “You’ll be able to represent your constituency and improve their lot”? No. 2) “The country needs men like you to fight the battles for those who cannot defend themselves”? Nope. 3) “Excellent idea, Duff, you can make a lot of money in politics, directorships and such”? You betcha! So having had confirmed what we all knew to be true what’s the deal with the fallout? Well, gather round my little ones and I’ll tell y’. The politicians are poorly paid (£64Kp.a. ….shit money, that) and so many of them, in order to make ends meet are forced to systematically plunder the country’s coffers and take on other employment too. Must be a real bugger to have to do all this extra stuff….poor sods. For their pains, they’re the CEO’s, non-executive directors, chairmen, lobbyists, board members of all the multi-nationals, conglomerates and big businesses operating in the world today. Now, we are fully aware that they are without scruple and vision when it comes to operating in their political career, so it stands to reason that this is exactly the way they’ll operate in their business; without honesty, scruple or fairness. So, when it comes to who shall get arms, medicine, food, water, nuclear technology, all the big things that will become more and more important as this world bulges with population and the available land to support it, they’ll be the ones to cast their vote for……?
Don’t know ‘bout you, but there’s no way in this world or the next that I’d want these moral degenerates operating claims of conscience in my name. They’d sell their grannies for a shilling and, as we’ve seen in the behaviour of those who have stood down so far, they’ll stop at nothing to shift the blame and invent excuses for their lamentable consciences. These people, these ex-politicians that gain so much by being of the ruling elite will sign up to anything just so they can open up three bottles of port instead of two, they’ll use up all the earth’s resources and destroy anyone in their path (such a pleasure to hear that, at last, Dutch Shell are being hauled into court to answer the charges surrounding the murder of Ken Saro Wiwa…..but watch them fight it; it’ll not be a pretty sight….and keep a careful eye on the witnesses) they’ll use up all the earth’s resources just so they can have nine homes not eight, they’ll give out the free smokes to third-world peoples, thereby creating a power-base of third-world people with first class cancer, just so they can keep their BAT shares dealing at a high, they’ll invent reasons for a war and prosecute it in defiance off all the truths and public outcry….. The way they’ve behaved in the spotlight of politics will be as nothing to the way they’ll behave in the shadows of big business. Be afraid, be very afraid.